About the Alamo Audit
A free 90-second audit of how AI sees your business. Built by an SA bar owner who got tired of paying $2,000 for PDF audits anyone could generate.
What "AI sees you" actually means
When someone opens ChatGPT, Perplexity, or Google's AI Overviews and asks "where should we eat tonight" or "best bike shop in Southtown," those engines don't show ten blue links anymore. They pick a handful of businesses, summarize them, and answer the question. If your business is named in that answer, you get the customer. If not, you don't - and you'll never see the missed visit.
The signals AI engines use are public: schema markup, structured data, NAP consistency across the web, review velocity, what your homepage actually says, and whether your Google Business Profile is filled out. Most local owners optimized for Google's blue links a decade ago and stopped. We score how your business reads to the AI layer that's quietly replacing those blue links.
What does the audit check?
33 checks across 6 categories. Every signal that affects how AI engines and Google rank a local business gets a score.
- AI-search readiness - AI Overview citability, schema for AI extractors, llms.txt, agentic-browser navigability, FAQ schema, brand voice consistency
- Google Business Profile - claim status, completeness, category accuracy, hours, photos, description
- Reviews - count, recency, star rating, response rate, sentiment themes
- Website - Core Web Vitals (PageSpeed), mobile usability, JSON-LD schema, security headers (Mozilla Observatory), accessibility (axe-core / WCAG 2.1 AA), HTTPS, analytics
- Local signals - NAP consistency across Yelp / Google / Facebook (Yelp Fusion API), citation health, photo recency, health-inspection records, social recency on Instagram / Facebook / TikTok
- Competitor positioning - top 5 competitors within ~1 mile, where they're outranking you, what they have that you don't
Why a free audit?
Most local SEO agencies sell a $1,500-$3,000 audit deck as the front door. We sell it for $0 because the audit itself is the cheap part - anyone with API access can pull these signals. The hard part is fixing them.
The free report tells you exactly where you're losing visibility. The Fix Pack shows the copy-paste solutions for every flagged item - also free. Most owners use that to fix the easy stuff themselves (title tags, meta descriptions, GBP copy). Where we charge is the install step: when an owner doesn't want to wrestle with JSON-LD schema or their Squarespace admin panel, we log in and push it live. $20 / $25 / $75 per install, not a subscription.
How accurate is it?
The grading sources are public, audited tools - not opaque "proprietary algorithms":
- Mozilla Observatory for security headers (HSTS, CSP, X-Frame-Options)
- Google PageSpeed Insights API for Core Web Vitals (LCP, INP, CLS)
- axe-core for WCAG 2.1 AA accessibility audits
- Google Places API for Business Profile signals, photos, hours, reviews
- Yelp Fusion API for citation cross-check and review parity
- Schema.org validator for structured-data conformance
If a score feels off, every dimension links to the underlying source so you can verify or dispute it. Nothing is a black box.
Who built this?
Alamo Audit is built by Joel Panchevre, owner of Thirsty Aztec (Riverwalk frozen-drink bar, est. 2017), Thirsty Candies (freeze-dried candy retail), and HUB MRKT Bikes (Southtown e-bike shop). It's published under the ThirstyAI software label.
The audit started as an internal tool to grade Joel's own venues against San Antonio competitors. Once the scoring engine stabilized, it got opened up to other local owners. Everything Alamo Audit checks is something Joel actually had to fix on his own businesses first - no theoretical SEO advice from people who've never run a venue.